Daily Collections , Part One - This is MY world!

 

I had no idea how deep the rules of life are really reaching!

There is so much going on right now. And it´s mind blowing. Not because I took a lot of action lately or because I actively made a lot of changes ... no ... 

Just because I changed my attitude toward life! 

This is my world and I create my world exactly how I want it to be! 

A sentence I wrote into my diary yesterday. And while I wrote that down, and while this warm, excited feeling rose inside of me, the most beautiful things happened ...

... just like that!

So I decided to also change my approach of writing my blogs.
Instead of working on one particular blog once in a while - and therefore make it sound very ... preachy - I will write things down in a more currently "live" version and save it up till it is time to post a decent length of a blog. 

So, what happened yesterday?

Though I was excited about a change in my work routine, things happened which darkened my mood. Fortunately I knew right away that it was only myself who was to blame for that. And this realization I used to reflect on the whole situation ... very honest, very straight forward:
I acted in a way I don´t like (anymore). I acted against my beliefs. 

Instantly my mood was changing.

Hey, I am so able to change my mood! On the spot! Whenever I am ready to do it! 

Nothing more, nothing less is needed for that. 

It is MY DECISION! It is MY CHOICE!

My mood only depends on how I am reacting to everything else. 
I can´t change circumstances, I can´t change other people´s behavior, I can´t change the world ... but I can change MY world. I most definitely can change MY INNER WORLD! 

When I was hungry, I went out to have dinner. I was walking "taller" and I was smiling. Not only at people. I was smiling in general and for my own happiness and toward life and Universe! 

In one of the restaurants, I frequently eat at, works a sweet, nice, friendly and kind young Asian man. He greeted me with a bright smile:

"Hello. How are you doing?" 

"I am fine. How are you? ... Hey, it´s the first time I see you without a mask!"

- Note: he smiles in a super cute and friendly bright way. Just like he fully means it! Also with his whole appearance and his eyes ...

"Oh yeah? I probably look terrible, right?", did he smirk at me. 

"A B S O L U T E L Y   N O T !!!" Absolutely not!" 

After that, sitting down with a big grin on my own face, I remembered another sweet waiter in another restaurant. A young black woman from France, who I "fell in love with" at our first ever encounter. 

The most heartwarming thing she did was:

Since the pandemic started there are loads of those take away delivery people on scooters around. Two years now. And she was the first ever person I heard saying to one of those guys when he picked up a meal bag: 

"Drive safely."  

My heart so reached out to her!!

So you might say those are "small things". Why would I get so excited about them to even mention them in my blog?

Because those heartwarming situations and my reflections about them made me overthink my own attitude at my job.

I want to be like them again!! 

I love to work in customer support. Always did. Even when I am sometimes frustrated about the situation, I do wanna help and support people. I love nothing more than when a customer approach us very angry and really pissed ... and I patently and as friendly as possible try to explain the situation to him ... and he comes back with a Thank you! I understand it now! Sorry for being rude!

I love that! Mission accomplished! That´s what customer support is it all about for me!

And, very selfish, that´s what makes me feel good.  

So this is on what I want to focus now - like those amazing people who warm my heart in their own unique way ... I wanna be exactly the same! Warming someone´s heart, making someone smile or even feel better ... in my unique way!

Not to please others or to demand a "Thank you" and an apology ... but to make myself feel brighter and "useful". 

See, those things are NOT small. Those are the lessons of life. The hidden messages from The Source hidden in daily situations ... 

***

(Another) yesterday my mood plummeted once again. One stupid incidence was enough to change the whole dynamic of my day. So I did, what I always do when something like this happens: I went to sleep. 

Taking a 2 hours nap, closing my eyes and shutting the world and my feelings out for a while is the best medicine for a troubled mind. Specially a highly sensitive one. 

That´s not an easy excuse for being lazy ... 

Even experts recommend that. It has something to do with releasing our stress hormones.

After the nap I was not "healed", but much calmer. So I decided to take a walk.

 

Within the first five minutes outside my home I usually can tell how good or how bad my mood really is. As soon as my thoughts are drifting into violent areas and I am clenching my teeth till it hurts, I know where I stand.

Yesterday this was exactly what happened. The cars were too loud, people where shouting and slamming doors, scattered garbage on the pavements, my thoughts drifted back to a topic which makes me very angry every time I come up with it again ... 

Yesterday that really saddened me a lot. 

Why does it always have to be such a roller coaster? One day I feel like the Queen of my world and the next day I feel like I failed once again! Why am I not able to keep the good mood up? Why can´t I be constantly happy without anything pulling me down so easily? Why can´t I hold on to my new solutions? 

Asking myself all those questions means sending out the questions ...

And I received my answer immediately. 

=== OBSERVING INSTEAD OF ABSORBING ===

The new "catch phrase", which makes my life so much easier lately, popped up in my thoughts. Okay, I decided, lets observe!

Instantly I straightened my shoulders and started to smile again. Not only with my lips. I made this warm feeling of smiling run through my whole body. 

(As Julia Roberts was taught in "Eat Pray Love": to not only smile with your face, but to smile with the whole body - even with your liver ...)

And my filters were adjusted on the spot!

I saw young couples in love. I saw little kids running around laughing. I saw flowers and butterflies. I felt the evening sun on my skin and I was aware of every single step I took in my flip flops on this beautiful summer evening in Malta, my little island of choice. 

When I reached the busier area at the harbor promenade I looked at people more observative. Telepathically I tried to send them a smile and some good thoughts.  

And then it happened ...

Out of the blue a young man came toward me. I stared at him and I mumbled to myself:

"Holy Mother of God in Heaven and on Earth at the same time!"

(I really said that - I am a big fan of Keegan-Michael Key and his "Holy Mother of ..." phrases already are applied into my vocabulary to be used as an outlet for outbursts of excitement.) 

"I am in love!"

... was my next thought. Which made me giggle.

Now, here is the thing: 

Of course I am not in love with him! I don´t know anything about him. I saw him for about four seconds.  

It´s just that what I SENSE in some people in the first seconds seems perfect or interesting or just smoking hot. There are people, ... yes, it also can happen with women, ... whose appearance is just "coherent". 

It always have been weird when I saw a man and instantly thought I am in love. Mostly friends of mine found it awkward when that happened, but at one point I also started to question my sanity.  

Not anymore! Thank God (with his Holy Mother in heaven and on earth at the same time! ... ha, ha, ha, ha ... Sorry!) 

A while ago I watched a documentary and the wise man in it, whose name I forgot unfortunately, talked about the same thing. He was talking about his awakening and how awkward it felt when he walked down the street and fell in love with every single woman he met on his way. Later he realized that he was not in love with that single person but simply started to feel the Universal Love. 

Well, I hope I start to feel the Universal Love soon myself. 

If anything this documentary gave me back my belief in my sanity. So this instantly-falling-in-love was nothing I have to worry about anymore. It happens occasionally to ... as I believe ... deep feeling people. Lets call them Highly Sensitive, shall we?

So, why did I mention this specific instantly-falling-in-love-incidence?

Because this young man, this beautiful, beautiful soul, was another messenger for an important life lesson!

Here is the reflection, which happened while I kept on walking. Welcome to my colorful world of thoughts!

"Jeez Louise! (another phrase I´ve learned from Keegan-Michael Key) 

How amazing was he! ... But wait a minute. ... I am having a blue day. Just right now I had to push myself to get out of too dark thoughts and here I am "falling in love" again? How is that possible? 

How intense are my feelings today? And ... yes ... EVERY feeling.

Ahhhh ... I am having a very sensitive day today. More sensitive than usually. 

That´s why this stupid thing crawled under my skin so deep earlier! 

That´s why I got so upset when otherwise I had a calm and relaxed day so far.

But wait a minute. ... Hold on! ... Does that mean ...?

Oh my God! (I will not mention his mother again ... LOL)

I am NOT having roller coasters of emotions! There are just days when I am more sensitive than usual. And, of course, the bad things are also standing out more these days, right? 

It´s not me failing again ... it´s just feeling even deeper than usual.

How amazing is that?!

I do not have to be upset with myself anymore for the roller coaster, for not being able to keep the good mood up. I am keeping my good mood, I stick to my new solutions. It´s just that I feel more intense today.

So observing IS the right way! 

That´s simply how it is. Don´t let it get too near."

This was a mind blowing discovery!

And again, ... see! Those "small things" are never small. 

About 4 seconds did I look at this young man ... and this was enough for me to break a very negative habit of self-doubt I carried with me for decades!

Thank you, young man! I do love you for that!!

What I did yesterday was:

I was observing what was going on, acknowledged the arising sad and disappointed feelings and then I tried to let them go again. After that I actively chose to smile again and to believe that everything is happening for a perfect reason and for my higher good!

That´s not that easy to do - I had to pull myself back from this "dark place" ... but I am sure I am getting better at that. It takes a bit of work and effort in the beginning. But soon I will be able to adapt that into my life. 

Because it feels so right! 

The most important thing is NOT to absorb any of the bad feelings.

Make the decision to let go, otherwise it is getting under your skin. 

Those things are happening for your higher good. 

No need to absorb them! 

Just observe and learn.

***

I guess this is a perfect length for my first "Daily Collections" blog. 

Please feel free to share your opinions with me. I would love to hear from you!

PS: Did you recognize it? 
The messengers of The Source came in young men these days ... 

No complains about that! Please keep it up that way, thank you.

THANK YOU, UNIVERSE!

PILAMAYAYE WAKAN TANKA!

In Full Bloom Again

 

During the winter months this plant, my 50th Birthday present from last summer, didn´t do much. Even a lot of its leaves turned yellow in the beginning of this year. 
I kept on regularly watering it anyway - not sure what would happen in spring and summer.

Right now it is in full bloom again! 

I just wanted to start this blog with a nice picture of my own. Little did I know that it would become a life lesson presented by nature.

Thank you very much!

Keep on going anyway - no matter if you know what would happen in the end.

Most likely you will be rewarded with being in full bloom again when the time is right for it.

Sometimes I feel like only "regularly watering" is enough. And sometimes I am not capable of doing more than "regularly watering". 

Those are the difficult stages in my life.

Specially when I feel the urge of proceeding my journey deep inside. 

That makes me struggle a lot. Wanting so much, but can´t figure out the how.

Fortunately I figured out the importance of those stages over the last couple of months. 

The circle of life consists of times for growth and moving forward and of times for reflecting and pausing. Nature does that with its seasons. Why would it be different for us humans? We are part of nature, aren´t we? 

Fortunately I figured out that those times of pausing are anything else than wasted time. There is this quote which I know in German language:
"In der Ruhe liegt die Kraft."

"The Strength is to be found in Serenity."

I would even go a bit further. 

The Strength comes from believing and trusting in the journey itself. No matter what is going on at the moment, be sure that you are on the right path heading into the right direction! 

The weird thing is that I knew that in theory for a very long time already. Yet, I was not able to fully deal with it in real life. 
Or lets put it that way: I had no idea of how deep this theory really goes! 

Reflecting is a great chance to find out all these important things for our life journey.

I don´t think there is only one recipe. I don´t think there is only one perspective. But there is one thing everyone should do:
Take your time, listen to your inner voices and follow your own path. Create your own recipe. Make sure you have your own perspective. No matter what!

This is what I did ... practically all of my life. 

Never with the crowd first. Only if I was inspired by something and was ready to also adapt it into my life. Only if I decided it was good and supportive for me. Otherwise I didn´t care if "everyone else" did it or "you MUST do it" that way. 

When I write these things down I often sound like I want to preach or I might feel like I am the only one who found the key to happiness.

This is not true.

It is just that I found MY truth, my key to happiness. And that´s huge. That´s so damn mind-blowing sometimes. I really want to share it with others. Not to preach my truth ... but to inspire people to start searching for their truth.

Now let me tell you: this journey took some surprising turns so far. My truth didn´t instantly reveal itself. Maybe it would have. If I would have been more aware of the messages and the signs. 

But that´s the beauty of the journey itself. 

Make mistakes! Take some wrong turns and break down on the way when things are getting too much! Stand up, promise yourself to make it better next time, only to "fail" again. Who cares? Every bump in the road teaches you a lesson. Every obstacle shows you how it doesn´t work. Thank you very much!

It took me a while to gather all the information I need. And still every single day I get some new messages and signs. But those hints are already coming pretty clear. Probably because I have my antennas ready to receive them at all time. 

First I was searching for the answers only in the "wise" books. Then I found Energetic. Which was a great source for a lot of important questions I had. From there I went out to find my own answers for my personal questions. Once it were the feathers I found on my path which were the sign of making the right decisions or showing me: "You are protected. We are here to guide you." Then I became aware of my inner compass, the inner voices which were guiding me. (Still smiling about every beautiful feather which I find on my path.)  

At one point I started to trust the Bigger Plan. Not always and not fully. But the foundation of trust was laid. 

From there I went with the flow.

There are times for healing. Times for growing. Times for reflecting and being still for a while. Times for loosing myself and heading into the wrong direction ... only to learn when I was ready to learn. Times for inventory and some new orientation. 

At one point in my life I lost fear. 

I have no idea when it happened. But it happened. 

There are more topics which I dealt with, only to find out at one point they are not there anymore. Solved without even knowing they have been solved. 

Other topics stayed very stubborn. 

Anger for example. No matter how hard I try, I can´t get rid of my anger. 

I guess it is not the time to get rid of my anger. Maybe it is still serving me somehow. A couple of days ago I read something that I couldn´t forget anymore:

"Observing instead of absorbing" 

Isn´t that great?

Something that definitely would help me with my anger. Observing is something beautiful. And it is even more beautiful if you don´t absorb everything ... only the positive things. 

Right now I am receiving some really clear "instructions":

- forget the patterns from the past

- get out of your comfort zone 

- start fresh and head into new directions 

- follow the flow 

For me the mind-blowing thing is when I am dealing with something on my own ... only to open Facebook and find quotes about the exactly same topic in my feed. 

Or, like last time, ... I went to buy a new book and decided to choose without knowing what it´s about. Choosing only by the color of the cover or by how much I like the title of the book. I did that because I wanted to open my horizon, read something I usually would not read.

I ended up buying two books: 

"A Tree grows in Brooklyn" by Betty Smith 

and

"The Book of Why" by Nicholas Montemarano 

Two extremely different books ... and yet the both fit into my life as if someone had chosen them extra to support me on my journey.

And guess what?

Someone IS supporting me on my journey!

With everything that happens. With everything that drives me. With everything I think and feel. 

Thank you very much!

That´s the Beauty of Life!

Yesterday a friend wrote in his chat: "Life is cruel sometimes."

I don´t agree with that anymore. 

Life is not cruel. Life sometimes is challenging, yes. And sometimes it takes a lot from us. But not to be cruel. Only to teach us a lesson or give us the opportunity to grow and to prove ourselves. 

Yesterday I read the question in a friend´s Facebook post: "If someone hands you over a box which contains everything you ever lost in your life. What would be the first thing you were looking for when you open it?" 

I thought about that for a while.

But I couldn´t come up with one single thing!

Why?
Because I believe in a higher reason for everything that happens. Everything that has to go, will go. Everything that belongs to us, will stay.

Somebody wrote underneath it: "My mother and my father."

We do not loose our mother and our father ... 

They are on their journey. 

Something I want to share with you:
Be aware of everything that affects you in any shape or form and look at it very carefully. No matter if it makes you happy or sad or angry. Everything important for you and for your life journey will appear, will show itself. 

Everything that "crawls under your skin" is something you need to focus on. 

Those are the messages.

Those are the signs.

That´s how Universe, God, the source ... or however you want to call IT ... communicates with you. 
Don´t waste the chance of information. 

Receive what is there for you to find the key to your happiness. 

Thank you, Universe.

Pilamayaye Wakan Tanka.