When´s the best day to start into ones New and Perfect Future?

Funny story:

Just had a week of vacation and, though I didn´t make any plans, I thought I will have the best time ever.

Wrong.

I didn´t do anything much. I slept a lot. I read a bit. I whiled away many, many hours by watching programs online - sometimes even till 3 or 4 o´clock in the morning ... 

And because I didn´t eat healthy I also didn´t feel very well. Of course.  

One of the few highlights was a day exploring with two of my friends. They took me for a nice swim to St. Peter´s Pool in the South of Malta - a place I´ve never been before. Not once in eight years! Another funny story. 

So, yesterday I went back to work (more precisely back to my kitchen table = home office). And here is the real funny part of that original funny story: since yesterday I feel like eating heathy again and do something nice after work!

My "clouded" thoughts brightened up and the desire to write came back - something I wanted to do constantly in my vacation last week ... grrrrrrrr!

In German language I would blame it to the "inneren Schweinehund". 

I was searching for an adequate translation but the only acceptable one Google provided me with was: "inner bastard".

The only good thing is I am not angry with me anymore. 

Jeez, how many vacation days and weeks did I waste away already with literally doing nothing? Somehow it seems to be like a vicious circle. In reality it is just how it works: focus too hard on something, make too many plans ... and for sure it will not turn out the way you thought it should. 

That´s an unwritten law! 

My "problem" is that I love New Beginnings and I love the thought about a specific day being the first day of my new and perfect future.

Cause I do know how my new and perfect future should be. Oh, I exactly know how it should look like!

What I like to forget is: Those perfect plans for my perfect future didn´t appear over night. Everything I know today is the result of everything I did in the past. Step by step I figured out how I want my life to be. Over the years I changed my habits, dismissed what I don´t like, adapted what feels right. It was a life long process ... so why do I always long for this special day, this New Beginning?

Not happening!

The messages I am receiving are telling me: everything is perfect exactly as it is at the moment. Everything is exactly how it is meant to be. 

Enjoy your journey! Enjoy growing, learning and evolving!

Everything is fine!

That´s why I am not mad at me anymore. 

One day, maybe with my next vacation already, I will learn how to REALLY enjoy my days off - without planning at all. Consciously and unconsciously.

So now, please allow me to write a bit about my desire to write.

Writing blogs turned out to be the best shape and form for me personally. Though I dreamed about writing a book since I started to write stories when I was fourteen, I definitely know this will not happen in a foreseen future. 
First of all I am not disciplined at all. Writing a book is hard work. Being creative is one thing but getting it into shape really is a difficult craft. 

There are so many different topics in my head. Each time when I sit down and start to write there are thousand thoughts which are worth to be mentioned as well. So many bits and facts which are needed to tell my stories well. At one point I distract myself so badly I completely loose the plot of the story. And that´s exactly the point where I loose the desire to write something "huge" again.

Another reason why I would not be able to write a book is the language I love to use. A couple of years ago I changed all my writings (diary, posts on Facebook, blogs) to English. Simply because I do have many international friends and because I´ve loved the English language since I left Austria for the first time in my life. Problem is: I am self taught in English, so far away from perfect and fluently. 

That´s why writing blogs work for me best as I am able to put actual thoughts in a compressed form. I can start and finish a blog in one session. Therefore I can do it whenever I am in the mood to write without giving much thoughts if I would still be in the same mood tomorrow or next week.

And, to be frankly honest with you, I hope writing blogs is the perfect training for me writing in English. So maybe one day I will find my steady flow to sit down and write that damn book I am so much dreaming of writing!

Not that I want to become rich. Maybe a bit famous. That will do. 

I dream about writing a book which inspires many wonderful people around the world and then - one day - I will be asked to travel the world to read to people all over the planet.

Seriously. This was the dream I always had:

Packing my suitcase every other week and travel to another city on one of the continents to read to people in book shops, theatres, libraries or what ever location my manager will pick for the audience who want to meet me in person. 

There is another funny story behind the title of this blog "The Flying Teabag". 

I promise to tell it soon. Only today is not enough time anymore.

Right now I am sitting in one of the coziest cafés in Valletta. Coffee is good, the sweat treats even better, the light is perfect, the soft music in the background not too loud and the few people still walking by outside are just enough distraction to look up from the laptop every now and then. 
But the café will close in about half an hour. So time for me to come to an end. 

I promise myself to bring my laptop more often and to simply start typing. Can´t hurt, right?

If nothing else, at least it will be some practice to toy around with the English language.

And that will be another step closer to my New and Perfect Future. A future where perhaps I will write as a real author. 

One of my three left over heart wishes ... but that´s also another story for another day!