Being Grateful For Another Challenging Year!

Another year is coming to an end. Was it a good year?

Well, for the world it was again a challenging time, but for me personally it again was as healing as last year.

One of my most soothing thoughts this year was:
"For the first time in my life I am advantaged by being a Highly Sensitive Person."

One of the big advantages of a Highly Sensitive Person is to be able to sense The Big Picture.

And, believe it or not, The Big Picture really, really looks great!

Recently I tried to explain my new clarity to a friend of mine. The absurd thing about that story is how difficult it became to explain my newfound peace of mind. 

As clear as everything became for me inwardly ... to put every important detail together ... is not easy. I guess this is a good sign of how deep my understanding already became.

One of the most important details is to be aware of how my whole life was meant to be.

I chose the perfect time for this journey.

I definitely chose the right family to be born in. 

For a long time I thought my chosen body was a burden. But in reality my actual body is a blessing. 

Even the fact that I believed I was born into the wrong country is not justified anymore. 

Every experience from my past was necessary to get me where I am today! My journey would have been a completely different one when "the stage of life" would have been something else.

The reason why this new clarity is such a huge experience right now is because I am able to receive answers and information in every part of my life. Still I listen very carefully toward my innerst feelings but also the world outside provides me with everything I do need to understand.

The other day I had the chance to catch up with a dear colleague of mine. We already know each other for many years but we don´t know too many personal details of each other. So the other day she asked me about my family.

When telling her the truth of how my family basically does not exist in my life anymore, I saw the sadness in her eyes. At the same time I didn´t feel sad at all. I felt at peace.

I no longer quarrel with my faith! 

Why?

Because I simply understand the meaning behind it.

In general I never felt like I belonged into my blood family. Letting go therefore was not that big trauma. It was necessary and it felt right when I finally cut the last strings attached. But I also had to let special people behind I never thought I would have to leave behind. Not only from the field of family but from different areas of my life. 

Leaving people behind whom I loved and cherished, who once were an important part in my life, was and still is the most painful experience of all.
Though now I am aware of how every single one of them had their purpose on my journey and how this purpose came to an end. Letting go when the time is right was one of the hardest lessons I had to learn ... yet I feel that peace inside of me: that´s exactly how it was meant to be. 

There are those special souls I sometimes miss the most whom I also appreciate the most. They maybe accompanied me only for a short period but they carried me through my most difficult times of life. THANK YOU, YOU BEAUTIFUL SOULS!  

Still the theory of multiple lives and the different journeys of our soul to learn our lessons and to grow is the theory which makes the most sense for me personally. 

In my opinion my soul can´t be only 50 years old. There is no chance I only lived as this naive girl who was raised in a small village and a tiny community in Austria. 

I definitely lived before and therefore I will live again. Because that is also a fact I feel really clear: I already came a long way but my journey is not over yet. There is so much more left to learn. Still I am a student who is curious of so much more! I know the really "big things" are still ahead of me.

On the other hand I feel like the most painful lessons already lie behind me. Maybe I am totally wrong and the next avalanche is waiting behind the next corner ... but I do know I already completed my "basic trainings". 

The master exam I passed was to not only NOT question the happening anymore but to believe and to be aware of the Higher Good in it. 

This is the feeling I am having for quite a while now. When it comes to sit down and analyze what I feel and sense in my deepest soul I feel the almighty purpose of my journey. 

There was a time when I would not have been able to write such a sentence down because I would have felt megalomaniac. We are raised to be modest and humble. Many of us still believe they are not worthy at all. And yet, we are all creations of a Higher Energy. We are meant to be!

Not because this planet is so much more beautiful with too many of us ...

But because every single one of us has an important purpose in The Big Picture!

Not everyone of us is meant to be an important world leader or a shining figure who will have his or her place in all time history. But being aware of our own purpose and living up to it could feel like being that shining figure who makes a huge difference and leaves an amazing legacy behind. 

Every single one of us can change the world! Every single one of us can make this world a better place - at any given moment! 

That´s how powerful we all are.

And this is what I am aware of now!

This is why my newfound clarity is so huge I can´t even put it in the right words to express myself and that huge excitement I feel inside myself.  

The one question I carry with me my entire life is "Why?"

And now I am receiving the answers in everyone and everything inside and outside my being: "Because!"

Why did I have to leave my blood family?

Because I needed to find my way by myself. I needed to understand life all by myself.

Why was I born in a small village in Austria when my heart beats for the Native Americans?

Because I needed to understand the division AND the connection between us. 

Why was my life so difficult by being a Highly Sensitive Person?
Because I needed to learn the most important lessons in time. I needed to learn my lessons to be prepared for exactly this challenging but promising period. 

Why am I not able to find my tribe, my people, who love and understand me yet?

Because I needed to become authentic for them to see and recognize me! 

Me, the Highly Sensitive Person, I have to deal with those things first BEFORE I am even able to handle life in general.

For a long time I thought this is an extra portion of stress in my daily struggling. But I was wrong. Dealing with those deep - you might call them spiritual - realities was my biggest opportunity to learn my lessons in a more meaningful way. 

I am afraid many people are feeling like they only endure their faith and live their lives day by day without a deeper meaning while they only received a small amount of blessings ...

My biggest blessings are to feel the connection with the Higher Energy, to feel the importance of my own journey of my soul and to slowly start to accept that my personal journey is an important part of the journey of all beings. 

The reason why I am so much at peace right now - even in a time where the world is shaking and simmering - is, because I know everything is perfectly fine! 

Our responsibility might be a huge one but at the same time we are fulfilling our duties best when we try to live our lives as joyful and happy as possible.

We do not achieve our goals by suffering and hurting!

When I shut down my laptop in a couple of minutes, get dressed and ready to go out and take this positive and mighty energy with me ... 

I will smile at people 

I will spread this "glowing" into the world 

and maybe I will be lucky enough to make somebody feel a bit better with a small chat or a shared laugh.  

Not a huge step in history of mankind ... but I definitely will make the world a bit better. Putting a smile on someone´s face is one of the most powerful and rewarding things in life!

With the smallest portion of energy, without any money but with the best intentions of our hearts we are able to lift someone else AND ourselves at the same time! 

How powerful we are! 

THANK YOU, UNIVERSE! 
PILAMAYAYE WAKAN TANKA!