Changing perspectives

I guess till today I always considered my life as extremely challenging ... and yes, to be frank, more often than healthy, as a burden.

Boy, was I wrong!

In reality I´ve been given an enormous opportunity to learn and grow. 

Because this, no matter in what we believe in, is the real reason why we are here on this planet in this particular time in this, our life.

Today, 50 years old, I am looking back onto my life so far. 

I am blessed to be a Highly Sensitive Person, because that´s why I am able to overview my whole life like a trailer of a movie. Everything is stored, nothing is forgotten.

(Also feels like a burden most of the time, but in reality it´s a blessing.)

What is the real reason of feeling so blessed, I often wonder. 

Of course I belong to a privileged group of people. That´s a fact. Born in the midst of Europe in 1971 I´ve never had to fear for my life, I´ve never was hungry and I always had a roof over my head. That´s more than most of the people have. Let´s face the truth!
But yes, I also had to deal with some heavy stuff in my life. I´ve not been living on a pale pink cloud of cotton candy. 

Only, from a very young age on, no matter how hard life was at the very moment, I´ve always felt protected. When I was sitting still and "listened" to what was going on, I´ve felt something like a bell jar covering me. In times when I felt lonely and forlorn I also did feel an unknown guidance around me. 

And ... I felt something very important inside of myself. There was this spot in my gut, which seemed to pulse warm and bright. A spot in my gut, which gave me strength and confidence.

Those feelings are my biggest blessings!

Those feelings were the base for everything I did in my life. 

I struggled a lot, I suffered more than necessary, I fought hard - mostly against my inner windmills. But I kept going. I kept moving forward. Because I was so curious of everything and I tried to find the reason and the purpose for everything. 

This curiosity - my next blessing!

Never take anything for granted, always search for answers, always try to find the purpose behind everything.

And believe me, when a Highly Sensitive Person is on her mission, there are no half measures! Sometimes my head was about to explode and still I couldn´t let go. I needed an explanation, I needed to at least sense the purpose behind it.

For quite a long time I thought this is a curse. And yes, it was a curse in the time when I didn´t yet know what was going on. But curse or not, today I am extremely grateful that I couldn´t change it anyway. How often did I wish for being "normal", for not taking everything so damn hard? 

Today I am proud of myself for never giving up and always having my own back. 

Backing up myself, no matter how different I was from others, - my next blessing!

Because of that I always was on the search for my own answers. 

I loved to be inspired and I loved to learn new things. I loved to change my route when necessary and I was more than happy to give up false believing when I was provided with new perspectives. I loved to try things out, no matter if they turned out good or bad. 

Because changing perspectives, opening up for new solutions only can make you wiser. Either it opens up new opportunities or it shows you what doesn´t work for you. But what it never is: needless!      

There is only one mistake you can make throughout your journey: Staying where you are, not moving forward at all ... 

Of course I made a lot of "mistakes" throughout my journey. Wrong decisions, false reactions and behavior, not seeing the path clearly, not trusting myself enough, denying the truth when it was too hard to face the music, etc., etc.   

But all of these were NO mistakes!

Those were the side effects of a journey full of action. Only when you stand still and do nothing you can´t make those alleged "mistakes". Though then you make the only real mistake by not achieving anything. 

Every action, every step into an unknown area does bring the risk of "mistakes" with it.

Today I am not afraid of making "mistakes" anymore - that´s the next blessing!

Today I am settled in my own reality. 

My journey steered me into the absolute right direction:

I needed to find out who I am. I needed to become my absolute authentic me!

Messy on the way - hell yes! But today I am enjoying the results of this messy journey. 

And please don´t get me wrong, I am NOT sitting back, crossing my arms behind my head and being just happy at where I am. 

I am still on the move.

There is still so much to do. If only, it feels like the hard work is done and the more pleasant part of the journey is ahead of me from now on. 

It feels like till now I was on the search and I needed to gather all the important information together, but now that I´ve built the solid base of my reality, further helpful information does find me on it´s own.

Does that make any sense?

I am also at a place in my life where things, I´ve learned somewhere on the way finally make absolute sense. Everything starts to fit together. These days I often stop and think "Ahhh, that was the meaning of it! Now it makes perfect sense!"

From Energetic and Spiritual communities nowadays often you will hear the phrase:

"The Lifting of the Veil". 

And that is exactly what is happening to me right now.

While moving through life, mostly without knowing what is really going on, I was only trusting my gut feelings and my intuition. When I was lucky I reached the point where the purpose of what was happening was shown somewhere afterward. 

Right now I have a clear view on what is going on ... inside of me and around me. Purpose is shown right away. Almost everything makes sense.

What a blessing!

So, how to reach that point? 

This little light inside of us ... this warm and bright spot in our gut ... this is our source of life. This is the center of real knowledge, of Universal knowledge. This is where the real information is coming from because this is our connection with the Bigger Source. 

This spot in our gut is also the center for:
- knowing what is right or wrong

- love

- passion

- motivation 

- inner peace

Focus on that spot in your gut! 

Connect with this spot in your gut and you feel safe and strong and happy. 

When I am fully aware of this deep connection everything else is falling into place. My ego stops nagging, my thoughts become still.

I see my life crystal clear and sense the Big Picture more intense than ever. And then, in this state of absolute peace, I get an idea of what my next step should be like.

The urge lately was to purify my life, to let everything go what doesn´t belong to me. I needed this strip down to the essence so badly! I needed to dig out the authentic me so urgently. Because the more I found this real me, the more I found my own strength and my own worth. 

And with this new clarified perspective onto my life I recognize all the blessings in it!

Now I do recognize all those lessons which made me strong the most - before I only acknowledged them as my absolute hardship.

Now I do recognize all the amazing helpers and supporters who appeared at the right time - before I just mourned about all those amazing people who came into my life but also left again.

Now I do recognize my own strength in being a Highly Sensitive Person - when before I believed this is the curse of my life ... 

I am not more blessed than others!

I just have an advantage to see things clearer through my highly sensitive eyes. 

Every one of us has this warm and bright spot in his or her gut. 

Every one of us is able to connect to this spot and through this spot with the Source of Life. 

We just have to change our perspectives and trust in what we are feeling!

Today I am looking back onto my life so far and, though I also still can see the absolute low points of it, I see my life in a new perspective. 

I´ve learned throughout my 50 years of being on Mother Earth to watch and learn very carefully. I´ve learned how to trust my own believing. 

Being able to change my perspectives was and is one of the biggest blessings ever! 

THANK YOU, UNIVERSE!
PILAMAYAYE WAKAN TANKA!